#then i learned the context of the show and became obsessed

[ethereallock]

okay, i’m not gonna lie. the first time i saw camp cretaceous (the clip where ben reunited with brooklynn and kenji in s2), i didn’t know the context of what was happening. my cousins and sister watched it. and my first assumption was that the show was about these kids having dinosaurs like pokémon and that they were their trainers 😭😭 they gave me power ranger vibes LMFAOOOO

[sporkarts]

Rio and Subtext

I'm pretentious and I love media analysis so I wanted to break open the scene where Rio and Agatha fight, right after Agatha has broken out of the spell. The fun part about media analysis is that I could be 100% wrong!! and that's okay lol

SO! AAA uses something called re contextualization, where almost every interaction has a layer that is given a greater context later on and i LOVE it. It's not 100% perfect but the biggest moments work so so well. I think one of the best examples of this is the first fight between Agatha and Rio. Looking back, especially during eps 4 and 5 it's really hard to see what the hell Rio was even doing there. But I firmly believe that Rio showed up to warn Agatha that the seven were coming. YES OBVIOUSLY her showing up was also a vehicle for exposition, but diegetically, I think it was Rio's way of warning Agatha.

Sources:

The beginning of the fight, it's obvious even from a first watch-through that Rio is holding back. She easily overpowers Agatha multiple times and at first we're meant to interpret this as someone 'playing with their food' so to speak. On a larger scale, I believe this is a test. "oh hey, you really are out, but you're also so vulnerable"

next, Agatha yields, something I think Rio isn't used to seeing her do. It's here where Rio confirms that Agatha 1. has no power and 2. has no idea what's been happening while she's been trapped.

Then, Rio concedes. She can't kill Agatha, but the Salem Seven can. On the first watchthrough, it sounds like she's tangentially related to the Salem Seven. She's dressed similarly to them, she's the one that mentions them, and she also specifically says she'll "tell them where to find you"

However, in Episode 5, we get context on a few things.

Who the Salem Seven are

Rio is very defensive of Agatha ("when her own mother tried to have her executed" "where is she?")

Rio doesn't particularly like the seven, in fact she seems to, at least in part, dislike them ( "they became a feral, hive-minded coven bent on revenge")

Rio doesn't like Evanora Harkness ("yeah well, her mother can't have her")

At no point is Rio ever shown to command or work with the salem seven, but she is shown protecting Agatha (verbally) from anyone who tries to take her away

When Rio is revealed as Death, it re-contextualizes a lot of the rest of their interaction. Rio cannot kill Agatha because it's against the cosmic rules (which we also learn she follows STAUNCHLY) but she also cannot directly save Agatha. If the Salem Seven were to attack her, Rio could not save her from dying. This also puts a lot of emphasis on their final battle, wherein Rio is so distraught that she's more than willing to break the rules of her existence just to bring Agatha closer to her.

SO!

her parting words from ep 1

"I am not the only one who wants to see you dead. Wants to see you burn, or hang, or drown" ... "Okay Agatha, but I'll be sure to tell them where to find you." ..."the worst of them, the Salem Seven, I expect you'll see them at sundown. After all these centuries, Agatha Harkness will finally meet her end, it really warms the heart" ..."yes I do, it's black and it beats for you"..."te veo"

translation: I love you. I cannot kill you (because of rules), I'm upset with you, but I cannot kill you (because it would kill me). And I'm obsessed enough with you that I cannot let anyone else kill you, but I cannot save you. So I am warning you, they aim to kill you and they can kill you. They will not hesitate and you cannot escape this if they find you, so find another solution. I love you so much my Very Being is devoted to you. I love you, and I see you.

again, yes, so much of that is exposition (antagonist setup, inciting incident etc) but I really and truly believe that this was a warning above all. feel free to disagree! i just love love talking about the deeper meaning behind things :3

[fruitgummies01]

New Here!

As a new fan of BTS and as someone who is curious/intrigued by the dynamic between jikook, I would genuinely love to know how the fans got to the place where it is now with the ships within the fandom. It's so toxic everywhere, and I'm a little shocked to be honest. I thought Are You Sure would be a cute show that the fandom would be excited to watch, but a lot of fans ignored it when the first two episodes were released (which in hindsight was probably for the best). And since the last episode dropped, there's been nothing but fighting.

For context I became a BTS fan in 2023 and so I don't really know all the history of every interaction prior (I'm still learning). I love every member and root for their success both individually and together as a team. As someone who is just learning about everything (I've been obsessively consuming all BTS content), and when it comes to Jimin and Jungkook's connection, I've seen some of the discourse about them online. To be fair I didn't really have an opinion one way or the other, since again I'm pretty new here, I'm trying to take content at face value. But after the first two episodes of Are You Sure, it feels obvious to me that there is an intimacy there between them. Even in episode three, JK can be seen rubbing Jimin's thigh when they are at the table, something that just looked automatic and natural for him to do. From all their earlier conversations in the first two episodes, to taking care of each other since they were both sick, to the concern, to Jungkook's "you're here. finally". Even though they were filming, it all just felt really real and honest. Plus Jungkook saying he wanted the show to go on for years even after they get out of the military, said more to me than anything else. Jungkook values spending time with Jimin and is already looking towards the future, just the two of them.

As for Taekook, it definitely seems to be the more widely accepted ship (I see so many accounts with hundreds of thousands of likes and followers on so many platforms). Plus there are so many taekook comments under pretty much any content related to BTS, even under content from people who are just reacting to BTS content on youtube or patreon. For all intents and purposes Jungkook and Tae seem to have a beautiful friendship, but I just don't see how people romantically ship them (no offense lol). And it's not because I don't see a connection between them, but because I just don't see how it would make much sense, and I'd want so much more for them from a partner lol. Like what would it say about their relationship if Tae was learning about JK traveling with someone else through a schedule on their BTS group chat, or having to basically invite himself, or how the last group live where JK seemed hyper-focused on Jimin (even though he was already planning to enlist with him), or JK watching hours of Jimin specific content on lives, or planning a travel variety show with someone who you were already planning to enlist/spend every day with, or being all over someone else in bed and repeatedly rubbing their legs (bandmate or not). Like no shade, but I feel like romantically shipping Tae and JK is lowkey insulting to them as people, because they both deserve to a be priority to whoever they are in a relationship with. Also a little confused how fans seem to ignore Tae having been in a relationship with Jennie??

All my confusion aside, I am just really looking forward to watching the rest of Are You Sure, and discovering more about them and their dynamic. I love that Tae joined, even if it clearly shifted the dynamic from the first two episodes, and hopefully all the negativity suddenly surrounding the show won't ruin my excitement and love for it.

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

Rose Recaps 2024 - Japan [Thailand | Korea.]

Ok, the individual show's recaps will be shorter in this one, because there are too many shows I've loved. I am partial to Japan, so it shouldn't be surprising.

We've had 4 different shows that had BL's within BL's. Which is a lot. And also kind of amazing. I'll start with those and then move on to all the others.

The Last One of 2023 and the First One of 2024 - I Became the Lead in a BL Drama: Crank up Edition

I love them and I can't believe I will get more of them this year. the comedy is great and they are both so earnest and adorable.

The One With the Slope - At 25:00 in Akasaka

They rewired my brain. One of my big obsessions of the year. The show within the show was used so efficiently. And Hayama. What a phenomenal character. I love pining boys, but this was on another level. A stand out moment was when Hayama finally chose himself and left Shirasaki before going too far, and tainting the beautiful memories they had created together.

The One With the Fourth Wall - A Man Who Defies the World of BL 3

Adding the making of a bl to this one was particularly interesting. That and the triangle made this season particularly fun to watch. Also Hatano was an incredible addition to the story and the filming of the bl was both adorable and heart breaking at times. A huge thanks to @ikeoji-subs for making it possible to watch.

The One With All the Tropes - Twilight Out of Focus

What a beautiful and lovely show. Just a gift for the eyes and a really fun and adorable watch. My favourite couple was the first, but I liked things about all of them. Such interesting use of tropes.

The One About Family - Ossan's Love Returns

I should thank @twig-tea everyday for convincing me to watch this one, even though I hadn't watch the previous ones. This is such a sweet show, with endearing characters and amazing family dynamics. Haruta and Maki deliver such sweet romance moments and Kurosawa makes me laugh so hard. It wasn't perfect but it was so so good.

The One With the Cutest Puppy - Sugar Dog Life

With so many disappointments, this show stands out by executing a simple and heart warming story really well. Isumi is the most adorable lonely boy and even though I wanted to strangle Amasawa at points, it all made sense in this context. They have great chemistry and their scenes together had a warmth that felt real.

The One With the Glass - Takara no Vidro

I will never get tired of someone falling for a crush because they were kind. It's something that Japan does a lot and I will always root for those characters. Taishin was such a beautiful character to watch grow and learn about his own feelings. And I adore Takara. His fear that his love for Taishin would bring out his possessiveness, and much like glass, if he held on too tight he might crush it, was heartbreaking to watch.

The One With the Succulents - Love Is a Poison

I just spoke a bit about it in my monthly breakdown so I'll just say one more thing about it. The visual effects in this show were used incredibly well, as were Shiba's insane dream sequences. The dropped green ink, the shine in the succulents and the heart eyes on Haruto. Perfection. Oh and the sound effects of the succulents. Freaking adorable.

The One With the Two Lonely Boys - Perfect propose

These two were looking for connection and a place to rest and found it in each other. It was short and gentle and sweet and managed to say a lot even though we only had them for 6 episodes.

The Other Magical Adaptation - Cherry Magic Anime

I would watch this story over and over again. And to have this one airing at the same time as the thailand adaptation was a joy. I feel the characters in this one are closest to the ones in the manga, they feel less perfect for lack of a better world. I want to rewatch this one soon.

The One With the Food and the Dog - Mr. Mitsuya's Planned Feeding

One of my new comfort watches. It's adorable in a very realistic way. The acting feels effortless, everybody feels comfortable in their roles, and all the supporting characters have purpose and play a part in the main romance. The best BL dog ever and all the food looked amazing and kept bringing me back to Kinou Nani Tabeta, which is not surprising since it shares a director with it. Thank you to @isaksbestpillow for allowing us to watch.

The One With the Amazing Women - She Loves to Cook, She Loves to Eat

I spoke about this one several times. I watched both seasons this year, my full review is here. I love all of them, although Kasuga holds a special place in my heart.

That's it for the breakdown by country. I still have one more post I wanna make with a couple of other bl's that I couldn't fit in these posts. Let's see if I find the time and the spoons for it. 💜

[autistic-ben-tennyson]

Steven Universe: A Complicated Relationship

I’m starting to fall out of love with this show. I used to be obsessed with it and it was important to me as a way of figuring out my gender and sexuality. Yet, my relationship to it has become more complicated as of late. I’ve defended it myself and have been passionate about it, yet seeing the way a lot of stans have acted has kind of ruined it for me especially due to dismissing any criticism. This is not me saying I hate it or think it’s irredeemable Nazi propaganda but not everyone who dislikes it watches Lily Orchard and there are valid things to criticize about it.

There’s definitely bad faith criticism of the show such as flanderizing Steven into a crybaby with those Jack Horner/Hitler memes or claiming it was made to attack Christians but some people do have valid points. The episodes Bismuth and Gem Harvest may have not intended to come off as racist but one could interpret them as forcing people to forgive their abusers or bigoted relatives. As someone who’s Asian and knows about the way we’re represented, the way Priyanka and Doug were portrayed in the early seasons as tiger parents has not aged well.

One other criticism I’ve seen is that the show copies a lot of old sci fi or anime tropes without recognizing the issues with them or removing them from their original context. I and others have compared the show’s ending to the Highbreed arc from Ben 10 Alien Force. The difference is that the Highbreed were treated as supremacists who needed to be stopped, not as abusive family. People can debate over whether they should have gotten more consequences but they were not treated as dorky relatives. The only one Ben befriends was a low ranking officer who became the new leader and convinced the high council to accept having their DNA changed. There’s also the human zoo, another sci fi trope that’s aged badly with the racist implications.

The series is also compared to a lot of anime. There’s references to Ghibli, NGE, Sailor Moon and Dragon Ball and many have compared the show’s idealism to that of magical girl shows like Madoka Magica. The difference is that those shows didn’t use subjects like colonialism as a backdrop for family drama. SW suffers from that as well especially with the rebels only wanting to restore the old liberal system while taking imagery from the Viet Cong. People who wanted a revolution story weren’t necessarily wrong as that’s what the early seasons did set up.

Some will accuse me of fandomizing the war but I’ve noticed a lot of the hardcore stans are white queers who support Israel or demand complete support for democrats. Not saying every SU fan is a bad person btw. There are a lot of decent people who are anti Zionist and like the show but a lot of these pop progressive cartoons as well as SW, Disney and Marvel/DC are used by people with gross beliefs to infantilize themselves and dismiss any criticism from POC fans. If mainstream kids media is where you’re getting your all political takes from then maybe you do need to branch out and watch more mature stuff. Watching NGE helped me grow up a lot and learn nuance.

As a recap, I’m not saying SU is a bad show or that people are bad for liking it. It was important for my own development as well as a lot of lgbt youth and was a jumping point for a lot of my current interests such as classic anime or Lisa Hannigan, who’s an amazing musician and is pro Palestine btw. Future did help me a bit with mental health yet people are allowed to dislike it or find that even if it wasn’t intentional, there are some implications that should be addressed. I don’t hate it and there’s some stuff worth defending in it but it’s not the greatest show ever and people who get all their politics from it need to grow up. Between it, TOH, Dead End and She-Ra, I think a lot of the pop progressive media that we have today will not age well and that’s something we need to accept.

[btstulip]

Wait, what did I just watch?!

When I first became interested in BTS, it was because my Facebook algorithms thought I might be interested in them and kept showing me fun videos. They were not wrong and I got sucked into watching BTS more and more.

As you can imagine, I quickly started getting fed videos of popular ships... mostly Taekook. Being new to BTS (and K-Pop and "ships" for that matter), there were definitely moments that I could admit looked like the actions you might see between romantic partners and it did get me wondering if any of the BTS members might actually be together. But I also knew close friends could sometimes look like a couple to people that don't understand their relationship. I have friends I kiss and cuddle with, but never once did I plan to date them. Add to the fact that I originally assumed some of this was just fanservice, something I no longer believe after much research here on Tumblr convinced me that BTS doesn't participate in traditional fanservice after their early debut stage. I knew it would take a lot to convince me any relationship was more than that of two very close people that cared about each other very much.

So I watched these Taekook and other videos with a lot of skepticism. I dismissed many of these videos right away as just playful people that enjoyed skinship with someone they were close to. But a couple caused me to find longer clips to check context. Most of these looked like nothing when played at full speed, uncut/edited, or with conversation context. And the more I watched of BTS, the more I could see how close and unique each of their relationships were. I loved how much they cared for each other and I wasn't invested in any of these guys having more than the close family relationship I could see they all shared. Still, I was curious if there was something all these fans knew about Tae and Jungkook that I didn't, so I kept looking.

I should add here that I was only days in to my BTS obsession research at this point. I had lost more sleep than I want to admit watching "one more video" for hours at a time desperately trying to answer the next burning curiosity, but still, I had only just started learning about the members of BTS. At this point, I absolutely believe all the BTS members care deeply for each other. They are family and have a bond I don't think any of us can really understand. These are 7 individuals that each share a unique bond with each other and as a whole. I don't think any relationship "competes" with another and each should be honored.

Though I wasn't expecting to be convinced that any of these members were actually dating, my desire to put context to these cute clips I kept seeing made me want to understand their relationships more... especially Tae and Jungkook because my video feed was FULL of these! I often found tumblr posts explaining the moments/relationships that gave me clues and insights about the members that I didn't have yet. The arguments I read for Taekook seemed possible, but I was sure there were similarly convincing arguments for all the ships. So I decided that I had to research the other ships to either prove or disprove that Tae and Jungkook actually had something extra.

I decided to start looking into Jimin and Jungkook. At the time, I just picked that "ship" first. But I am sure it was because I had already noticed how close those two are. Most of the stuff I dismissed, especially anything on stage. But I kept reading and watching "evidence", rinse and repeat. Definitely cute moments, eyebrow raising moments, some super questionable stuff on stage (2018 I am looking at you!), but I saw that stuff with Taekook too. I saw GCF Tokyo mentioned several times, how Jimin and Jungkook went to Tokyo together and Jungkook made a music video. And somehow this was amazing "proof", so I decided I should look that up.

The skeptic I am, I started watching and saw two guys that are very close, on a trip together, having fun. Lyrics talking about being there for each other. So cute! They are so close and this shows how much Jimin's friendship means to Jungkook. I loved it, but I could not understand how this was the ultimate proof everyone accepted. And then, 3 minutes in, when the video was almost over and I had basically decided it was about a beautiful bromance, it happened...

Boy, I'm holdin' onto something Won't let go of you for nothing I'm runnin', runnin' just to keep my hands on you

Eyebrows raises, well that is definitely romantic. And then, seconds later, my brain broke...

There was a time that I was so blue What I got to do to show you? I'm runnin', runnin' just to keep my hands on you Runnin', runnin' just to keep my hands on you

My jaw was on the floor. What did I just watch?!? That wasn't "proof", that was PROOF! There was no way to spin that other than a full on love confession. Did he actually do that? I can't believe any member of a K-pop group would do something so loud that is almost impossible to take any other way, unless you cover both eye and plug your ears!

I needed confirmation. More context. I read blogs all about GCG Tokyo and they delivered. Jikook fans gave me even more details, things I didn't understand because I was a BTS newborn (still a baby, maybe toddler, but growing quickly). Solo trip together on personal time, big deal. Jungkook recorded and edited the video, releasing it only a week later. Wow. Jungkook is a perfectionist that cares about his art and chose the song for a reason. Check. The song is by an openly gay artist? Why are we still discussing this?!

Still, I wanted an outside perspective. One not looking for this video to confirm anything with little context. So I made my sister watch it. Told her it was these two guys went on a trip together and one recorded and made this video. What did she think? "It's a love confession." Two of my kids also agreed... the third is a teenage boy that is horrified that his mom is obsessed spending all her time watching BTS and he refused to see it as anything other than someone saying "you need to be there for me too".

I suppose it's possible this was just about friendship. I suppose I could be wrong. I'm not Jungkook and unless he tells us, I will never know. But unless Jungkook denies it directly, you CAN NOT make me believe that video was anything other than one person telling another that they love them.

Sorry this post is SO LONG! I didn't expect it to be this long, but it was super fun. Thanks for sticking around and reading my TMI. <3

[dearweirdme]

Thanks for answering my ask! I was this one: https://www.tumblr.com/dearweirdme/755208541848076288/i-saw-your-comment-that-jkk-tumblrs-were

As for the video, I think it shows how close they are and how delighted they are by each other. I’m not sure why you don’t think JK being obsessed with Jimin and them showing up for each others lives doesn’t count? Or Hobi’s going away doesn’t count when Jkk talk about drinking a bunch of whiskey together the night before? How did Jk learn to play Jimin’s song on the guitar…? Jungkook talked about travelling with Jimin on Suchwita and was giddy. Do you not see it too? Maybe you don’t!

As for the not seeing each other during the first part of the year, Jk was very prolific on wlive (just about once every week or two) while Jimin was busy with Face. After JM was done with schedules, JK also became markedly less frequent on wlive. There were people predicting that JK would go live when JM left the country and then he would! It was uncanny. It happened several times in a row.

We have no idea why Jk didn’t go to JM’s shows, but I don’t think we can conclude it was because he didn’t care. He CLEARLY cared about Jimin and his music. Maybe he’s too distracting to Jimin. It truly could be anything, but do you REALLY believe it was because he didn’t GAF? He knew all the words to all of his songs and learned the guitar to play his song and watched every single video and feature JM put out. He cared.

As to the blogs struggling, they only struggled because they were used to being so well fed! Despite the company barely producing any BTS content during that time, there were still so many days when JK or JM (especially JK) would visit us and talk about the other or they’d interact with each other in some way on social media. It wasn’t everyday, but it was way more than any member of BTS talking about any other member of BTS. It was also addicting, if you’re into that kind of content. That’s what the struggle was.

Finally, as for how much any of them saw each other… well besides JK’s conspicuous sudden absence from streaming when JM was not busy, they did film a travel show together. That was quite a few days of being together that we’ll get to see some of soon. They also applied to be in the military together, which is a pretty involved application process. We can’t know for sure, but they probably saw each other quite a bit during that. But also Jimin started boxing again when he was done with Face schedules. Towards the end of the year, he’d come around with bruised up knuckles. Maybe that wasn’t with JK, but it seems like those two DO have a history of working out together a lot so maybe he was! Neither of them tell us when they are hanging out (unlike how open they are when it’s other members), but we do find out in lots of ways that they do hang out outside of BTS activities. I am happy to tell you why JKks know they hang out a LOT even if they never explicitly say it.

And I mean right now, at great personal cost to each, they are sleeping in the same room every night and bringing comfort to the other, non-stop for 18 months. There is that.

Anyway, I have looked at the tumblr you recommended, but it’s not convincing to me. Because I watch all the original content, I can see how the interactions are cherry picked and not nearly enough to be convincing, especially given the original context of whatever moment. You’re my favorite TKk blogger, so I wanted to know if there was anything that was super convincing to you. I hope you don’t block me for talking with you about this, I really am very curious and I do respect that we have different interpretations of what’s happening.

Hi again anon!

Sigh.. look, you are clearly stuck in Jkk think. I know what Jkkrs think (so no please don’t tell me) and you are just repeating everything the bigger blogs are telling you.. unsurprisingly.

This whole ask of your’s is filled with assumptions, romanticizing, and ‘maybe’s’ that you have no way of backing up with actual evidence. I now know you only watch Jkk content (and sure that might be original content) but you don’t watch content of the other members probably… so this conversation is useless. If you don’t understand why all those things I pointed out don’t count, then I am sure you never will.

I’m not sure how we went from me saying Jk and Jm have a great loving friendship to ‘do you really believe he didn’t GAF?’? Obviously they care a lot, they’re besties. My idea of them actually fits the footage you sent me much better than your idea of them, since I have no questions left at all.. while you are left wondering whether Jk might be too distracting to Jm (here I was thinking they’re in the same band…. 🫠).

Be a Jkkr if you want anon, it’s fine with me… you’ll forever be wrong… but still that’s fine by me.

[picturejasper20]

So, i was trying to think of the strange connection that there is between Danny Phantom fans and Steven Universe fans, aside from SU being a show that was very popular on its moment. Like one show is from 20 years ago and the other is from last decade, both with different executions and genres.

...Which lead me to write a whole essay no one asked for, so here you go:

One of the first things that comes to mind is how the main leads are hybrids- Danny Fenton is half human/half ghost, Steven is half human/ half gem. And like both series give an idea that they are pretty unique in their experience as hybrids and they both belong to both worlds yet not fully to either of them.

Danny has a lot of issues with having to hide his part of himself from the world, his parents included. Meanwhile, Steven doesn't understand certain social norms and can feel disconnected from other teens around his age, having lived a somewhat recluded childhood from his peers. (This gets more explored in Future)

Aside from the struggles that being an hybrid it brings to them, they have episodes about learning new powers or learning how to control them. You see them start rather powerless only to become pretty OP on the long run. -Steven getting tired for summoning one shield to being able to do it without sweat-Danny having his powers glitching at the start to gain a power like Ghost Wail later on, etc.

Another thing that Danny and Steven share in common is that they want to help and be useful. In Steven's case, he wants to help people with their problems or "fix" them. Over time Steven starts to define his identity around helping others a little too much to the point that he doesn't know who to be outside of that.

A pretty common headcanon for Danny in the DP fandom is that his ghost obsession is about having to protect everyone he can, something you can see in the series in a way. After Phantom Planet, Danny doesn't know who to be outside being the hero and feels that people don't need him anymore in the context the world having being saved after the series finale. ( A Glitch in Time)

Both try solving problems talking it out if possible, if it is a misunderstanding or they think the antagonist can be reasoned with.

With Steven, he doesn't need an explanation as most people know his personality, for Danny- it depends on the situation and his mood, sometimes being kinder and other times more violent. I would argue again that he still tries to talk things out when he sees that violence isn't necessary -just not the same as Steven

That's not to say their characters are the same, in fact their personalities are pretty different and their ways to approaching problems differs too. They do, however, share some parallels in their character arcs that i already discussed.

Another aspect are the main antagonists, both Steven Universe and Danny Phantom have their antagonists have motivations outside of being evil for the sake of being evil.

In Steven Universe this is a main theme and i don't think it doesn't need much introduction. Antagonists (most Homeworld gems) have been taught and were socialized to act in a specific way in the totalitarian society they were born into. Examples of this are: Peridot, Jasper and Lapis- these motivations can be mixed with revenge or similar things as well.

In Danny Phantom the main antagonists are Vlad Masters/Plasmius and Valerie Gray, both characters who aren't evil by nature and the series leaves clear that their antagonism comes from what happened to them and the decisions they took in result of that.

Vlad Masters role as a villain comes from the insolation and abandonment issues that came from the Ghost portal accident in college caused by Danny's father, Jack Fenton. Vlad became obsessed with getting revenge on Jack and believing he "stole" a family that should have been his.

Valerie comes from her blaming Phantom for (accidentally) ruining her life and trying to get revenge on him, becoming a ghost hunter. Valerie's role is a mix between anti-hero and antagonist since she wants to protect people but opposes Phantom at the same time. Eventually she becomes a bit of a friendenemy to Phantom over the course of the seasons.

Other recurrent antagonists have their own motives to do bad things ( Sidney, Desiree, Ember) while others are more naturally classic evil (Ghost King, Spectra). It depends on the character one is talking about.

Diving more into Vlad Plasmius, both series have this idea of "legacy", as like protagonist having to deal with what their parent/s "left behind for them".

For Steven is a huge deal for him since many of the antagonists who attack him are for things his mother Rose Quartz did, having Steven deal with all this issues and believing he has to fix them, blaming himself for what how Rose hurt people in different ways.

As for Danny, Vlad Masters' antagonism comes from the portal accident caused by Jack, Danny's father, when Vlad, Jack and Maddie (Danny's mom) were still friends in college. In a way Danny has to deal with something that was caused by his father. It isn't something he choose to but yet still brings him a lot of problems to his life.

I'm not sure which character from SU Vlad could be compared to, but i would say that Spinel is the closest one, since Spinel was abandoned by Rose Quartz (as Pink Diamond), who was her best friend, similar to what supposely happened between Vlad and Jack after the ghost portal accident.

Other theme is the idea of redemption, or how you can be your worst own enemy. As i mentioned, antagonists in SU usually get redemmed and change their ways from the systematic ideas they were raised in. There is this idea that people have the capacity to change if they propose themselves to.

In Steven Universe Future, Steven is "his worst enemy" as he has to deal with his own demons he has been avoiding for years for trying to repress them or being too busy helping other people. He goes through a negative corruption arc because of this, ending with him realizing that he can't hiding his issues and needs help with them.

In the Danny Phantom series, this is very important theme in "The Ultimate Enemy", where Danny is confronted by the possible evil future version of himself, called Dan Phantom in the DP fandom. Danny battles against this version of himself and tries to fix his mistake, proving that he can avoid that future from happening.

Danny also meets Vlad Masters in the dark future timeline in this special, who regrets his actions after so many years passed and how he accidentally helped with creating Dan in that timeline.

A Glitch in Time expands on this theme further by exploring Vlad and Dan's motivations a lot more and giving them second chances. The novel itself shares parallels with Steven Universe and SU Future in multiple ways.

Back to Dan Phantom, he shares quite a lot of things in common with Malachite to the point people have pointed out these parallels.

In Steven Universe, gems can fuse with other, creating more powerful gems. A fusion's personality and manners are determined by the relationship the partipants in the fusion have and a combination of their personalities.

Malachite is the fusion between Lapis Lazuli and Jasper, two characters who hated each other and carried lots of personal issues the moment they fused, resulting in a fusion that is unstable. Malachite represents the toxic codependent relationship between the two characters.

Dan Phantom is the fusion between Danny and Vlad's ghost halves, Phantom and Plasmius. Dan was created in a timeline both Danny and Vlad had a lot of issues, with Danny having to deal the lost of his family and being left traumatized. All this trauma along with Vlad's mental state went to Dan, turning him into a destructive ghost.

These are the elements i see that Danny Phantom and Steven Universe series share in common to explain why fandoms often overlap, i'm not sure if there are more that i'm not able to recall at the moment.

[oshidorifuufu]

awww nozomi looks cute!!

whats the movie about? i love it when people relate me to characters soo

-🎀🖌️anon

the movie is actually a spin off of the anime hibike euphonium (which is absolutely amazing you shouldwathcutpelasewatxhit), nozomi and mizore, the main chars in the movie where introduced in s2 of the anime, altho they never got their characters completely fleshed out so liz and the blue bird is supposed to fill that.

you dont need to watch the anime first though! i was actually introduced to the anime because someone suggested the movie to me, and i had watched that first. some things like the main characters of the anime being there lack context watching it w/o seeing the anime but overral you dont need to see the anime (BUT YOUSHOULD!!!!!!)

the movie is about nozomi (a flutist) and mizore’s (an oboist) unhealthy attachment, specifically mizore to nozomi. the movie is supposed to be mizore trying to stand on her own two feet away from nozomi as she’s preparing to go to college, and using the metaphor of a childrens storybook “liz and the blue bird” and applying it to her and nozomi to figure that out

the movie is absolutely amazing !!!!! the little details and music is absolutely IMPECCABLE, there are many video essays on yt abt just the music alone, ive listened to the ost multiple times over and its amazing and crazy creative. the movie has so many small details that you notice everytime you watch it again and it all adds up into a wonderfully amazing story that probably changed me in some way lolol

its also the reason i even learnt what an oboe was and became obsessed w it, therefore starting oboe lessons and now i’m 2 years down the line. the 3rd movement in the original 4 movement composition for the movie is like, what convinced me i was going to learn that dang thing no matter what,, ITS SO BEAUTIFUL

its best to listen to it when itcomes up in the movie i think so dont search it up but once you’ve finished the movie definitely go listen to the whole thing bcs they only really show a cut down ver of the 3rd movement (the other movements are there but they arent focused on like the 3rd movement is, which makes sense bcs the 3rd movement lore wise is the most important)

also again i cannot stress enough if you like school bands n wind instruments n drama anime, marching band, classical music anything like that, WATCH HIBIKE EUPHONIUM!!!! 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

sorry for the rant ♡

oh yeah also i related u to nozomi because she also quit flute in middle school ^^

[thoughtspresso]

Hello, sorry I just need someone to voice my op to since none of my circles read or watch OnK :'(

It's so weird to me how Akane's fans interpret that scene when the girls are filming an MV as Akane only having good intention and care for Kana, 'cuz imo even if there is, what she said was still one of her attemps to get Aqua to stay with her. Look at how things played out to her: her business bf wanted to break up, he even straight up refused sex when she offered, and now she found out that right after that he took Kana on to a proper date, Akane's chances were close to zero. She was grasping at straws when she said that and played it under the guise of being considerate about Kana's safety, just like how she said she's okay with breaking up with him yet cried - showing that she wanted the opposite. Because if she only cared about Kana's safety, then what's with the side comment about how actors have it easier? It's like she was saying "Choose me, I'm the safer choice!". I'm not saying Akane didn't have good intention, but it's more like a two bird one stone typa thing where she wanted Kana to be safe and Aqua to continue with dating her (her own selfish want). It was kinda a dirty move from Akane, consider how she knows very well what happened to Ai and how much that'll affects Aqua. Akane always strike me as a good in nature yet also self-absorbed character: She decided what's best for both Kana and Aqua that also benefits her selfish wants regardless of how the other two would feel (& we all know how miserable both Aqua and Kana was during that ghosting period); She decided what to do to Aqua's father without thinking about how he might feel (again); The signs were as early as the LoveNow arc where she tweeted the apology thinking it was the right solution without consulting with her manager first because she thought she knew what was best for her to do in that situation. Even her acting method also kinda reflect this, where if the character's portrayal clashes between her and the director/scriptwriter, she already has a concrete image of the character from her own interpretation and thus has difficulty compromising and adjusting with the production team.

I might even take a wild guess that she was in love (obsessed) with the idea of saving prince charming rather than Aqua himself because to her, their story literally went/was gonna go like the old classic story of prince charming saving the girl -> the girl learns about the prince's past, decides to help him to repay him saving her -> prince charming defeats the bad guy (his dad in this story) with the girl's help -> happily ever after. Akane being a teen + Aqua saved her + it's her first dating experience caused her to have an idealistic view of dating and probably why she tolerated Aqua dating her despite having his eyes on Kana for he did act like the perfect bf on the surface, and that to her was enough to fulfil her prince charming fantasy. Akane is, actually, not that mature in her relationship with Aqua like how her fan keep praising her for, tbh imo it's more akin to what teens think "being mature" is. I know this is one of the appeal of her ship with Aqua, even though some might deny it. As oppose to Kana who might be a potential obstacle to Aqua's revenge whether good or bad, Akane is narratively there as a bonus reward for Aqua after finishing the main quest of avenging his mom if the ship ever be canon again. Akane and Aqua have unfortunately became perfect self-inserts for those who are into revenge and/or trophy girl fantasy (nothing bad about this itself tho). But perhaps because of looking into those fantasy fulfilment rather than the actual context of the manga/anime, they accuse Kana of not understanding the "real" Aqua (I have alot to say about this, maybe 3 paragraphs at least lol) or how she's useless for not helping him kill a person and ignore the entire other half chunk of the story about showbiz problems, where Kana's own story entangle more.

If you've read this far, thank you so so much.

P/s: My wild guess no.2, rather than being a damsel in distress (being Kamiki's target) for Aqua to come rescue, Kana already has a close relationship with Kamiki prior to reuniting with the twins (maybe a mentor-student relationship?). I've always find it weird how Aka just glossed over Kana's past, like he's holding back important info regarding her past that he can't show the readers too soon. So that's why I have this guess. This explains why Aka's been keeping her out of the revenge plot for so long + better than Kana just being a damsel in distress + raises the stakes for Kana (will she choses the mentor who helped her through her dark days being abused by her mom or the twins who she can see the light and bright future in?) + makes Kana a key player in the revenge plot.

Hey Anon! I'm happy to talk to you about some OnK Character Analyses anytime. Sorry to have taken so long to respond, I really wanted to sit down with your question. I've been thinking about this a lot. And I'm afraid my response might be even longer than your ask hahaha!

I want to summarize your main points for everybody else, so that we're all on the same page:

Akane was manipulative when she reminded Aqua that Kana was an idol, and pushed him to choosing her.

Akane wants to reverse the damsel-in-distress and Prince Charming trope, and decides on behalf of others.

Akane fans accuse Kana for not knowing the "real" Aqua

(Bonus) There's a possibility that Kana already knew Hikaru Kamiki.

So, my responses:

#1 Was Akane being manipulative in Ch. 76?

Well, yes. And no.

I actually had a short discussion (argument?) with Skania (who I will not tag for the sake of their mental health, but mentioning here to credit them.) about this very topic. (And I want to thank them for their time and also apologize to have annoyed them!) We have really different interpretations and disagree each other on this part.

To get the fast answer out of the way: Yes, I believe Akane was wholly aware of what she was saying.

She already knew from the Tokyo Blade arc how badly Aqua can get triggered on the topic of Ai's death.

Put it this way: imagine being a teenage girl who was depressed or bullied, and the boy who saved your life started dating you but admits that it isn't because he likes you that way. You start offering him sex if that would fulfill his wants in a relationship, but he tells you that your relationship is about to end soon. You find out from another girl that they went on a date--shopping for suitcases and Brazilian barbecue--a kind of date he never did for you. Then when he invited you to go on a trip, most of what he did was walk you around his hometown to look for something else, and then watch this other girl be really cute in a dress he was stunned by.

Akane is allowed to be a teenager who would want to nudge her boyfriend to stay with her and away from his other crush.

Akane fans like to argue that she was being completely selfless, and was just looking out for Kana's safety too.

I really dislike this reading of Akane's character, because it strips her of agency. Of course she has personal goals, wants, and flaws. She's allowed to be a teenage girl who wanted her love to be reciprocated. She's allowed to be a teenage girl who gets a little jealous, and try as she might to be professional and civil because all of these people are her work colleagues too, she still does things that fulfill her goals. She is allowed to be self-interested, and act on opportunities that align with those self interests.

I also think that if Akane's fans want to believe in her intellect and her masterful ability in understanding people's psychology and detective work, then it stands to reason that they should also believe that Akane was deliberately aware of the effect of what she said to Aqua. She doesn't always make 100% correct bets, but it's reasonable to conclude she made this bet hoping that it could get him to stay.

Akane and everyone else is already aware that Kana is actually not a person who needs scolding on the dangers of being under public scrutiny:

Under any normal circumstance, if Akane simply cared for Kana's safety, she would have simply responded to Kana when she was bragging about the date. Like, "hey be careful about dating in public spaces okay? I dont want you getting in trouble." Or, if she would talk to Aqua about it, she might say, "Please remember to book a private room next time you eat in a restaurant."

But no. If Akane would remind them of safety tips of dating as public figures, it would just lead them to the advice to do Home Dates:

And she doesn't want that now, does she?

She didn't say something as straightforward as that, and neither did the author write it in a more neutral tone. It was deliberately written with Akane implying that if he didn't want Kana killed, he should just date a fellow actor. (Preferably one that the public is actually cheering on to be together, because they were already in a Love Team due to the show.)

I just don't like ignoring what the Author and the Illustrator clearly put on the page for me to absorb the way that it was. I think pretending she was being wholly selfless is an insult to the writers.

#2 Is Akane motivated by the want to Save Prince Charming?

This is the "and no" part of my answer.

When I think of Akane, I don't think of an outright evil person who manipulated Aqua into doing things, wanting to be a hero for that reason. And just like how Tokyo Blade serves as a parallel for the show, it in turn informs us that it is an incorrect interpretation of Saya-hime (or Akane) to think that she outright wants the violence herself.

This part I agree with Skania on: Akane's main flaw is her low self-esteem.

Akane doesn't personally believe that she is inherently worth any value, and any value that she holds is attributed to her hard work.

People have taken notice to the fact that, unlike Kana's experience of abuse and abandonment, Akane had a really good support system behind her when her suicide attempt happened during the LoveNow arc. She had a loving mother and a really kind-hearted manager that believed in her. Yet she clung onto the validation from the agency President more. She ascribes her personal value to the approval of other people, especially positive feedback from her superiors in the industry, her theater troupe calling her a genius, her fans applauding her.

And, on the opposite side of the same coin, she has immense Rejection Sensitivity that makes her extremely defensive when she received cyberbullying, leading her to want to make a public apology right away and appease people.

This leads Akane to be an extremely hardworking person, but also seeking validation and direction from other people (like the LoveNow crew), unable to voice out her views unless it is supported by an authority figure (like when she wanted something changed in Tokyo Blade), and also why when meeting her personal hero and idol Arima Kana in person, when Kana lashed out at her, instead of simply thinking, "okay she's a terrible person, I'm done with being her fan forever", she rejected that idea and went on to study Psychology in the hopes of understanding people like Kana.

All of this manifests in her relationship with Aqua being okay with receiving bare minimum from him, not complaining when she realizes he has feelings for someone else, and also doing anything and everything for him, whatever he needs whether he asks for it or not.

I'll go a little further into my interpretation of her (which I know Akane fans might be resistant to or disagree with, but I hope you stick with me here.)

I also think Akane has a co-dependency on Aqua, and herself has Inverted Narcissism, with Covert and Cerebral Subtypes.

I agree! I sound nuts! This interpretation is crazytown.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) has several subtypes, including Inverted Narcissism, which is a subtype where the person craves the co-dependency on another narcissist. They are self-sacrificing to their primary narcissist, feel they are not entitled to anything, but seem emotionally level-headed and highly attuned to the primary narcissist's needs but not much empathy for anybody else.

Because of how little they think of themselves, it gives them a feeling of power and control to be with a person who believes himself to be so special, to have a crucial mission whose victory she can partake in. In a sense, Aqua was someone Akane looked up to so much for having saved her from her suicide attempt, and for turning the public's view of her from negative to overwhelmingly popular.

Akane definitely thought, "I want to be useful to him! I want to make him happy!"

And this man had his own amazing detective mission going on in his mind and trauma to solve. And so Akane thinks, "Let me solve that for you! Let me be useful to you even if it kills me! Use me as you need!"

They say true love is unconditional and self-giving so I will aide my enabler in patricide to prove my worth to him!

According to Professor of Psychology Sam Vaknin, the DSM gives us 9 criteria to diagnose an Inverted Narcissist, and you need to have at least 5 to qualify. Here are some that he mentioned that I think fit Akane:

The inverted narcissist is emotionally stable, but her self-esteem is very low. The inverted narcissist devalues herself as an offering, as a sacrifice to the narcissist in her life. The inverted narcissist is compelled to filter all her narcissistic needs through the primary narcissist in her life. The inverted narcissist feels amplified by the primary narcissist's own accomplishments. The inverted narcissist is pre-occupied with fantasies [...] of an ideal love to be accomplished through the narcissistic partner.

The inverted narcissist feels like she is undeserving and not entitled to anything.

The inverted narcissist is indistinguishably selfless. She is sacrificial. She is anxious in her interpersonal relationships. She avoids assistance of others at all cost. She can only interact with others when she can be seen to be giving, supporting and expending an unusual effort to assist. So she is sacrificial, she sacrifices herself, but ostentatiously, in full view.

The inverted narcissist lacks empathy like a classic narcissist. She is intensely attuned to others needs, but only insofar as it relates to her own need to perform the required self sacrifice. She needs to self sacrifice in order to obtain her narcissistic supply from her primary narcissist. But to do so, she must be attuned to his needs. So this is her restricted use or leverage of empathy.

The inverted narcissist displays extreme shyness, lack of any real relational connections, is publicly self-effacing, is highly moralistic and critical of others, is a perfectionist, engages in lengthy ritualistic behaviors that can never be perfected.

I also mentioned that Akane has Cerebral subtype, in that she believes she has superior intellect, and the Covert subtype, where she seems altruistic and selfless on the outside but internally she is driven by a self-serving need to be useful, to be wanted, because she chases after this external validation to fill in the gaps of her own self-esteem and call to perfectionism.

There is room to argue that Aqua is actually the inverted narcissist and she's codependent on Akane who is the altruistic/communal narcissist subtype. I reviewed it, but it seems she's the codependent one in this scenario.

I think this answer entails that Aqua himself also has NPD, and I think he does have Vulnerable Narcissism with Cerebral subtype. Kana actually picked up on it pretty well:

He does tend to think that he is the sole person who can accomplish this mission of revenge, even though it took him 4 years to crack a passcode and he actually didn't solve anything himself. Like, ever.

He thinks that he has some superior ability to read people and manipulate them (and it's not necessarily true, he just believes so).

And he likes bringing it up out loud a lot, like I used you, or haha she's so easy to manipulate, regardless if he actually did anything.

When Ruby points out he hasn't made any friends, Aqua deflects and becomes defensive.

He also initially thought that he was going to make it big as an actor after the one time he did well as a child, and entreated Gotanda to take him in, but when his PTSD was getting in the way of his acting, he just chalked it up to saying no actually I was never talented in that, because he doesn't want to admit to others that he doesn't have the supernatural inhumane acting skills he thought he did. (Note: He's not comfortable showing those old acting videos to Kana, but is okay with showing it to Akane for this reason.)

He truly believes he's everybody's savior. Unprompted he just thinks he's some main character that caused everybody's suffering. His Behavioral Self-Blame (BSB) about the death of both of his mothers is a manifestation of his wish for control over the situation, which is a known coping mechanism for those with PTSD or Major Depression Disorder (MDD)

Vulnerable NPD subtypes also feel uncomfortable being praised, which is why he reacts that way with Kana.

Vulnerable NPD subtypes also hate being asked to compete, which is why during both LoveNow and Tokyo Blade arcs, he keeps out of the way.

Vulnerable NPD subtypes really really hate rejection, and that's why Aqua says that he can't confront Kana without a Pieyon mask because he's too weak to be shot down by her again.

Vulnerable NPD subtypes are quite anti-social, but again if you confront them about it, they'll just deflect you and say things like they had no intentions to make friends or they're busy observing or something like this.

I mean, look at this dumbass intellectualize having feelings for girls his age like Akane and Kana:

Kana gets it though:

ONLY A NARCISSIST WOULD (half-joke)

This is of course a reminder that people with NPD aren't inherently bad people, they also don't come in one shape or form as there are many subtypes, and they can swing in severity. Most of them are a by-product of either a traumatic childhood or an overly doting one. Akane and Aqua just simply happened to be both of these.

I just came to this interpretation when I kept thinking of why was it that it felt like both Akane and Aqua were using each other. They both felt miserable and yet felt necessary and dependent on each other's emotional comfort. They both lie to each other too. I think a lot of people have picked up on the "feeling" that the two are using, manipulating, abusing each other, there's something dysfunctional about them together, and yet they also genuinely care about each other a lot. And people couldn't pick the right words to describe that. Co-dependents and their primary narcissists can heal together into a healthy relationship, they don't have to stay that way forever. But for the most part, nobody really recognizes that that's what was happening, because the dance they do together looks completely synchronized as a relationship. Who ever says no to a sweet and completely self-giving girlfriend? Who would leave their boyfriend to die alone in a revenge plot?

ONLY A NARCISSIST WOULD (not joking)

#3 Does Kana know the real Aqua:

I think a lot of Akane fans love to cite that Akane knew about the revenge, the trauma, the using, the manipulation etc. She also knows what he's like when he's being silly and playful.

And I don't deny that Aqua and Akane cared for each other.

But I also think that Kana knew Aqua even when he was being unpleasant, making crude jokes about her when they were kids. Kana observes Aqua's acting meticulously and understands the fine details of his style. Kana also has actual conversations with him about his interests too. They read the same books and they jog together, and they're very comfortable arguing with each other about anything.

Most of all, of anybody, only Kana has pointed out that Aqua has chuunibyou/grandiose thinking, narcissistic tendencies, and that Ruby has a co-dependent relationship with him (even when she didn't know about their past as Sarina and Gorou, she just picked it up as the core reason for their clinginess).

#4 [Bonus] Does Kana know Kamiki?

I don't think so.

When Kamiki opened his production company/agency, Kana would have been about 11yo. It was around this time that she had been recording Full Moon and her other songs, and her career had been on a decline. Then her company left her and she started freelancing instead.

Kana's acting style is also diametrically opposed to Kamiki's acting. Which as Akane has pointed out is similar to Ai's acting style. Kana's acting is very emotionally honest and is rooted in her personal understanding of her own emotions, whereas Kamiki and Ai act to deceive others based on the calculated perception they know the audience wants of them. Given this, it's unlikely that Kamiki mentored her in any form.

Lastly, I think Kana would have been the first person to point out that Kamiki looks like Aqua if they knew each other, even if he was acting as the Miki-san persona.

But I did joke before that I think if Kana and Kamiki met each other, they'd just traumabond and be friends until the cops haul Kamiki away. And that'd be the funniest thing ever.

That's it! That was a very long rant. Thanks for the question.

[stemms]

Hello, guys. I’m sorry for being inactive in terms of original content lately, but I’m back, and right now I would like to give you an important update.

I’d briefly mentioned my abusive familial situation in the past, but I never really went into details. However, I’d like to share more context now, as it is directly related to the reason for my sudden disappearance.

I’ve been trapped in an abusive situation for the past seven years, and the longer I stayed in this household, the worse it became. While the abuse was mostly psychological, it escalated to the point where one of my abusers nearly choked me to death. I will elaborate on that incident after giving you some context.

My abusers are my mother and stepfather, with the latter causing me more harm. He tends to always blame me for everything, invent more and more nonsensical rules for me to follow (and randomly abandoning some, only to come up with something else) and get mad if I don’t learn them by heart the moment he introduces them (which happens because of my horrible memory that his abuse worsened). He always expected me to reach out to him if I needed emotional support, but when I was actually struggling mentally, he either preferred to ignore it or cut off the internet because “it was obviously the reason”. Additionally, he’d always get mad at me over the stupidest things ever and use it as an excuse to yell at me for 2 hours. Also, fun fact: some of my top posts are heavily inspired by something he did to me (: (: (: My mother isn’t better because she watched every single time he was abusing me, but never really tried to stop him. Yet, when I tried to confront her about his behaviour and explain that this is literal abuse, she’d gaslight me into thinking it’s normal, and it could’ve been worse, so I’m lucky and he “has good intentions anyway”. She’s also extremely controlling, manipulative, and obsessed with the idea of moulding me into the person she never got to be, as well as always keeping me around.

Since I’ve been dealing with this kind of behaviour for so long, my mental health seriously deteriorated. My hands are always shaky, I flinch whenever my stepfather enters the room, I tremble if he comes too close, I flinch if he touches me, I’m horrified of maintaining eye contact with him, I’m always in the fight or flight mode, I overanalyse his behaviour and always make sure to do anything I can (even if it's humiliating) to ensure that he doesn't hurt me again. Recently, I started going to therapy and taking medication, and it's been very helpful so far.

Although things weren’t perfect already, I didn’t expect my life to be threatened. A while ago, I was having an argument with my transphobic mother about my identity, and after it was over, we had dinner. During the argument, my stepfather wasn’t home, so he was unaware of it, but he noticed the tense atmosphere, and it infuriated him to the point where he went to the kitchen to do the dishes instead of eating with us. I had a feeling that he thought it was my fault, so I followed him to reassure him that my mother’s state wasn’t his fault, and it was just a small argument between us (which was literally true), but he started shouting at me because he assumed I was accusing him of something???? I tried to reassure him some more, and then he lashed out at me and said lots of transphobic shit. After that, he grabbed me, pushed me to the floor and got on top of me, pressing me harder and harder to the floor, started choking me so hard that I could barely breathe, so I bit him, and he continued to choke me and pull my hair. I messaged my English Literature teacher and she called the police. We were interrogated and although my mom told me to downplay it, I was too scared to do so and told them everything, plus showed them the pictures of my bruises.

After that, I couldn’t look at any c!Prime content for a while because it suddenly felt triggering, so I just needed to take a break from my blog and work on my mental health for a while. But right now, I'm doing better and I’m feeling more comfortable about c!Prime again, so I should be able to make more content soon. I must admit, I'm not that hyperfixated on it at the moment, but I’m definitely going to do more c!Prime content soon because these freaks are too fun :)

[millipedish]

On wembling, convincing, fawning, and the antichrist? A Convincing John deep dive.

I wrote this over the course of a week, trying to sort through 13 years of obsession. Why is Convincing John my favorite character, anyway? Content warning for talk of organized religion, a subject I try to stay neutral on. While my experiences with church are mostly negative, someone I know values it because of the community it gives him, while still criticizing the same things I do about organized religion. I'm trying to come to this with that point of view.

In 2011 I was out of college and employed on the weekends. There was a new channel on TV called The Hub. Essentially it was created by Hasbro to market its toys right into the brains of little kids with shows based on its properties, but it also had a number of reruns of old shit, particularly, including a big chunk of the Henson catalog. I think this is where my adult interest in Henson began. There were no muppets, of course, that was Disney, but there was a lot of the weirder, experimental stuff that no one talks about. Like Good Boy!. Does anyone remember Good Boy!(2003)? It’s a. It’s definitely a movie.

While other nerds my age were discovering My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, I was watching Fraggle Rock in syndication. It immediately drew me in with its sets. Mossy caves with rainbow lighting were beautiful but also a little unnerving. Unknown creatures would bounce and slither in the background- nothing to do with the action, they were just there. It was contemplative and mysterious.

Then suddenly a girl was alone in a cage, singing about rivers and sunlight and her desire for freedom. That song had me totally enraptured. That’s the moment I became a lifelong Fraggle Rock fan.

I went on youtube and I looked up the song just to hear it again and to confirm that it was as good as I thought it was. Then I was down a rabbit hole watching more videos from the show and absorbing more songs. 

And that’s how I first stumbled upon this rat preacher guy singing about human beings and doozer towers. Comments sections could not be turned off back then, and I scrolled down to see some weird comment about the character’s initials. Keep in mind that that particular upload has been deleted and the comment has been lost to the void, but it was something like this:

Convincing John is JC reversed, the reverse of Jesus Christ! Convincing John is the antichrist! Or at least that’s what those crazy 80s parents groups said about Jim Henson’s character back in the day. Those silly conservatives! But what if Jim had a message with this character? Makes you think, doesn’t it?

For the record, there is nothing to back that up. Not even anything about conservatives getting mad at the show for John’s character. I checked with the people who know. But, put a pin in that idea. 

Mokey(AKA, the girl in the cage) was my favorite at first! I loved her singing voice, and I loved her complexity. Calm, but insecure. Generous, but vain. Pacifistic, but spiteful. Because she was my favorite, I wanted to see all the episodes about her, so naturally I learned the context of that Convincing John song. 

And I tell you, the way Fraggle Rock introduced him was effective. For context, this is the episode where Mokey is trying to convince the fraggles to stop eating doozer towers. Frustrated that she can’t change their habits, Mokey declares that she’ll ask Convincing John for help, and when she mentions him, there’s a musical sting and her friends gasp.

The next two minutes are spent hyping up this character. “He can convince the rocks to change color” “he’s the type of fraggle no one goes to see”. We don’t even see Mokey talk to him, but we see what he’s done to her: he’s convinced her to wear plastic cups on her hands, and he’s convinced Red to walk around blindfolded. This is a fraggle, not a gorg or a poison cackler. He has the ability to make the girls make decisions that are clearly not in their best interest. Is getting him to change the will of their whole community really a good idea? It feels like making a deal with the devil. Even Mokey calling him a ‘nice man’ makes him seem more ominous. 

If he has that kind of power, what kind of person is he? I mean, yeah, I’d already seen the song, but putting myself in the shoes of someone watching this chronologically. Two thirds of the episode in and he finally shows up, and he’s just about the ugliest fraggle you’ve ever met! I mean that affectionately. He has a cheap suit, and teeth! Teeth built right onto the puppet! They resemble that time Kermit had teeth but not quite as bad. He proceeds to sing his very upbeat, very silly song, which does indeed change everyone’s minds. 

John was played by Jim Henson himself, along with Cantus the minstrel, and they were very much based on the facets of his personality- the hippie and the salesman. 

In The Preachification of Convincing John, John himself is more of a force than a character. We, the audience, always see him when he’s performing, even though we know Mokey talks to him in more private moments. That would change in season 2, episode 14, The Secret of Convincing John.

When his name is brought up, it’s only Boober who seems to display the same amount of fear as he inspired in Preachification. Gobo sounds in awe of the man, but he has other things to take care of. Boober is dreading the experience, and asks Wembley along, but Wembley already made other plans with Gobo. We’ll later see that it was Red who summoned him to make her community wear clown noses, and Mokey is along for the ride. I have to say, of all the fraggles, I’m most surprised that Mokey has not learned her lesson about John. 

But then again, this showing seems to have lower stakes. The Clown Concierto is a party song, and John will only be singing one verse. The Fragglettes exposit that one verse makes for a temporary convincing, ‘perfect for pajama parties’. So this is kind of like a temporary, group hypnosis. Mokey seems enamored with the idea of ‘wearing the nose, and believing in it’.

When Wembley sees Boober, of all people, wearing a clown nose, he resolves to have Convincing John convince him to stop wembling, and this is where the danger comes back to the situation. Making people wear clown noses for a pajama party is one thing, but changing your personality? So it seems like the fraggles fear isn’t so much for John himself but the way he uses his powers. 

When the Fragglettes speak to Wembley, they once again bring up the number of verses. One verse will make him a little confident, two verses will make him totally confident in public but still have doubts in private, and three verses will make him arrogant. But the choice doesn’t matter to Wembley because, in true Wembley fashion, he does not choose the treatment for himself. But this time it’s not his fault: Convincing John leaps in and starts singing over him.

John gets through two verses before Wembley stops him and the Fragglettes, and rather rudely, too. Now his voice is brassier. He says he doesn’t need John’s services anymore. When he returns to his friends, he informs them he changed his name, and starts ordering them around. He’s so definite that his friends dislike him and they think he’s going to hurt himself. It seems John’s convincing worked VERY well on him. Put in a pin in that, also.

His friends force Wembley to see John again to reverse the damage, but this is where the secret comes in. Because they catch John in the middle of a song- a song about his own wembling! It seems John’s choice paralysis is even worse than Wembley’s. And honestly? This is the moment John became my favorite rock character. These twenty minutes of television changed the course of my life forever.

Gobo and the others are surprised by this, naturally. John says that wembling is the secret to his success, although the way he delivers it it sounds like bullshitting. But I tend to think that there’s something to that! 

Let’s look at Fraggle Rock: Back to the Rock, Season 1, episode 10, Wembley the Spokesfraggle. The doozers make towers using a material that tastes horrible to the fraggles, and they simply aren’t touching them. An advertising specialist named Jack Hammer says they need a spokesfraggle for their cause, and when he sees Wembling wembling, he chooses him. Wembley goes to become, dare I say it, very convincing as he sings the praises of the weird, pink sticks. It could very much be that Jack sees Wembley as someone easy to mold, but Wembley really does become a good spokesfraggle. 

This arc very much feels like a shoutout to Convincing John. Wembley gets a tie and three backup singers to go with his new role. His friends even deny that someone as charismatic as he has become could still be a wembler. Remind you of anyone? I also love that this is about people to convince people to eat the towers instead of to stop eating them.

So here’s where I get into my theory. I feel like wemblers are just sort of, kind of different fraggles. They are easier to convince, at least initially. In The Secret of Convincing John, Wembley became a jerk after only two verses of John’s song- something that was not meant to happen. In the Wembley the Spokesfraggle universe, Wembley was easily molded into what Jack Hammer wanted him to be. But as soon as Cotterpin told him what the fraggles were really doing with the sticks, he had his doubts.

You might ask for an example of it happening for John, and I would argue that every time we’ve seen John so far he’s been susceptible. You’ll notice, we haven’t seen him so ‘no’ to a convincing job, no matter how disastrous the results might be. More on that, later.

So Wemblers are easily swayed, but they are also particularly compelling speakers. Now, I do have to mention that in Wembley the Spokesfraggle, people seem to particularly trust him because of his reputation. He’s known for his honesty and the careful way he goes about decisions. When he starts telling fraggles that the pink sticks are good, actually, its *themselves* that they doubt. 

But John doesn’t have an honest reputation- quite the opposite, actually! Fraggles are afraid of him because of what they know he can do to them. John’s convincing feels like some kind of spell, and the way they talk about the number of verses affecting the effectiveness makes it feel moreso. Even the convinced fraggles express confusion over why they did the things John convinced them to do. 

So yeah, I totally believe wembling is the secret to John’s success, even if he doesn’t. Now lets examine how his powers work. 

First of all, his convincing can cross the species boundary. Wembley encountered several doozers wearing clown noses on his way to see John. Tests would have to be run to see if he could convince gorgs and silly creatures. 

When Wembley returned to his friends, they were no longer wearing the noses. The Clown Concerto was temporary, just as the Fragglettes promised. So, if John sings one verse, it just wears off on its own. I think we can conclude that the song he sang to Mokey about cups on her hands only had one verse, then, as she no longer wears the cups a few days later. 

So, three verses must be very potent, right? In Preachification, the fraggles got three verses. They pressure Mokey to let them out of the solemn oath. She eventually does, but you’ll notice that they don’t touch the towers until John sings another verse. It makes me wonder if they needed his spellbinding song in order to eat them again. What would have happened if he hadn’t shown up? Would they be able to eat the towers? Or would they find themselves compelled not to do it, despite their own desires? No wonder the fraggles are afraid of John.

So only one verse of the song to break the three-verse spell, and to break a two-verse spell requires a challenge. Maybe. Perhaps Wembley's nature as a wembler means John needed to try harder or use a softer touch to break the spell.

And sure, we don’t know. Wembley might have come to his senses on his own, eventually, and maybe the fraggles really did only need for Mokey to release them from their oath. But giving John all this power- its just a fun headcanon! So that’s the one I choose.

The third thing we know about John’s powers is that they do not seem to work on himself. Despite lamenting about his own wembling in song form, John has not convinced himself into being a definite fraggle. Not as far as we know, anyway. Even more concrete evidence was the fact that he bit into a tower right before singing a reprise of his anti-tower song. 

Now I understand why some random youtube commenter called him the antichrist. Convincing John has this much power, so he must be evil. But is he really? In a show like fraggle rock, where empathy and cooperation is the key, is there really any room for evil characters?

I honestly feel like John is just a guy who loves doing what he does, and he believes that he is really helping people. We also don’t see him say ‘no’ to any convincing jobs, even if they could spell disaster for his home. Is it ever his sole idea to convince someone? Well, he wasn’t told to convince Mokey to wear cups on her hands. Or was he? We don’t see the scene play out. The girls were also there, and likely so were the Fragglettes as it’s established they live together. So the idea could have come from any of them.

Makes one wonder what would happen if Marlon or Pa Gorg asked for John’s help. He kind of comes across more as a people pleaser than this plotting manipulator. And, maybe there’s something to that?

Let's talk about Wembey for a minute. He displays traits of fawners. In Back to the Rock, season 1, Episode 4, Four Wembleys and a Birthday, Wembley begrudgingly agrees to all of his friends’ ideas for how to spend his birthday, even though he doesn’t want to do any of one of those activities. He even justifies it by saying “But, as long as my friends are happy, maybe that’s enough.” 

Wembling’s fawning is especially evident in Fraggle Rock season 1, episode 2, Wembley and the Gorgs. It’s foreshadowed when he’s especially agreeable to Gobo’s suggestions. “If it’s OK with you, it’s OK with me” is a repeated mantra. With the gorgs, his interactions are kind of the literal definition of fawning as a defense mechanism in action. Wembley is in a dangerous situation with people who want to hurt him, and there’s no way he can escape. So when Pa Gorg says he wants to be saluted, Wembley agrees with no question. 

In Four Wembleys and a Birthday, Wembley actually pulled himself so thin that he split and became invisible. Indeed, when you fawn, you can lose your identity. Your whole existence is about other people, not yourself. After the events of the Wembley and the Gorgs, he reflects on his experiences. “I mean, it didn’t seem like I was a slave. I guess some slavery feels like freedom.”

And that's another thing about fawning- it's still your idea. Wembley saluted Pa, his whole heart was in it. There was no part of his brain that was consciously thinking “I’m doing this so that he won’t hurt me.” It was not a conscious decision, even though it was still his idea. It’s kind of hard to explain but when you fawn, you really are totally in it. For the moment, you totally believe whatever it is you’re agreeing to. 

There’s a misconception that fawners are manipulators because of the way we seem to change our minds so quickly, or even because we say ‘what people want to hear’. As if we’re politicians, not just regular people navigating our own lives. I promise you, we aren’t out to lie to and manipulate you. We are constantly operating under a fear protocol and when the fear becomes too much, our brains default to the behaviors that kept us safe when we were children. It harms us more than it harms you, and it takes a very long time to unlearn the fawn response.

Fawners also tend to be fawners because they learned that it kept them safe. They often grew up in situations where they could not always get away from danger, and appeasing their abusers was what they needed to do to survive. I think it’s possible that Wembley was in an unsafe situation before he met his friends. But with their support, he’s learning to say ‘no’ more and more, and especially when its important. Most of his arcs are about finding his voice. In Four Wembleys and a Birthday, he does manage to recombobulate and he tells his friends what he really wants. 

I propose that John is a fawner, too, but it's better at hiding his low self confidence. He is a performer, after all. And he makes a good foil to Wembley. Even his purple fur is a nice foil to Wembley's yellowish coat. John is mirror of what might have happened to Wembley if he hadn’t met supportive friends. If he had met Jack Hammer before and continued down the path of a spokesfraggle. Wembley is a fraggle with a lot of inner strength, but without power. John is a fraggle with a lot of power, but without strength. 

To some things, Wembley agrees full heartedly. Like in The Secret of Convincing John, when Boober asked him to join him for the Clown Concierto. The only reason he didn’t go is because Gobo reminded him that he had previously committed to helping Gobo get his uncle’s postcard from outer space. 

But he doesn’t always jump on everyone’s suggestions. There are times when it’s clear that Wembley does not want to say yes, but he struggles with saying no. So he kind of stalls, saying things like “Oh wow Gobo, you think so? Huh, maybe we could try that?” Even when he does tell people in a direct way that he doesn’t want to do something, it takes him a long time to get there. An example of this is Fraggle Rock: Back to the Rock, Season 1, Episode 2, Red and the Big Jump.

(A brief aside but- hello- Red and the Big Jump is *brilliant*. Not all of the responsibility should be on Wembley to always speak up, it should be on his friends to listen, too. John Tartaglia, who wrote this one, understood that perfectly. As you can probably tell, Wembley is the member of the Five I identify with the most, and I’m so glad he was the catalyst for the episode about consent. People aren’t always able to just say no. The Trash Heap makes it clear that the absence of the ‘no’ is not a ‘yes’. That’s a message that even adults seem to have a hard time understanding, which is why it’s so, so important we teach our kids these things from a young age. I’m so glad Red and the Big Jump exists.)

I believe that John has his own way of stalling to avoid saying no. We didn’t see it, but we did see the results of it. Mokey with cups on her hands, and Red wearing a blindfold. He’ll convince people to do silly things instead of giving them a direct ‘no’. He initially did this with Mokey, but only got through one verse before she convinced him.

So was that youtube person way back then correct? Is he the fraggle antichrist? I mean well. No. Not at all. But. Being generous, I think there is something interesting to be said about John and religion. Because I left something out when I talked about his inspiration- he’s a reference to Jim’s personality, but he’s modeled after televangelists. He’s got the bad hair, the flashy suit, and the backup singers, and his debut episode is even titled the Preachification of Convincing John. 

Even the language his song in that episode echoes some phrases you might hear from a preacher on TV. “There’s a mighty day a-coming”, “extra-good-as-gold”, “for eternity”. It’s very interesting to me that in this version, the reasons John gives all have to do with the fraggles’ well-being and not the well-being of the doozers, as this Mokey prime concern. As a preacher, his strategy seems to be ‘scare-em-straight’. It’s not about what the doozers need; it’s about how horrible things will happen to the fraggles themselves if they eat the towers. This is also a hallmark of bad actors in these fields who rely on the fear of damnation rather the love of one’s fellow human beings to compel their flocks to act.

Convincing John features in one last episode, The Secret Society of the Poohbahs. In the story, Mokey seeks to gain entrance into an “Exalted, high, holy, order”. She becomes very stressed out as she believes she’s breaking the rules of the club, but eventually realizes that it’s all very silly. By design! 

John is one of the leading members of the club, and at one point he states that he doesn’t know what ‘innocent’ means. “Doesn’t it have something to do with lambs?” That feels like a vague Bible reference. Honestly, the Poohbahs could easily be fitted into some commentary about religion. A group of people with their strange rituals who are quite scary but when you look close, they’re just your friends and neighbors. 

So, it may not have been intentional, two out of three of John’s appearances had elements that were poking fun at organized religion in a tongue in cheek way. Like everything on Fraggle Rock, it paints a nuanced picture. It’s wrong to scare people to the ‘right’ path, and don’t get so hung up on scripture. Church is meant to be about community, and if it loses that in rituals and rules, then its not right. It’s a light in a tunnel. In a world where kids might have had a preacher tell them they were going to hell if they kissed certain people, this must be a breath of fresh air. 

So why do I love John so much? He reminds me of me. He’s a fawner. He wants to be liked, but the way he goes about is probably not the best, and it leads him to being feared. And John is full of other contradictions. The ugliest fraggle in the rock, but the most charismatic as well. Outwardly confident but inwardly unsure. Powerful but easily swayed. As much a snake oil salesman as he is a preacher. Not good or evil, but certainly flawed. A complex, well rounded character, in other words, who I would love to know more about. 

Scratch that. It’s the teeth. It’s definitely the teeth.

[555-95472]

so two different people have asked me about #18. Favorite Beta troll? and it was already getting long, so. here we go 🎉

i won't sugarcoat my garbage opinions here: its eridan fuckin' ampora. welcome to my ted talk on why i love this terrible idiot.

so for context. i read homestuck when i was 14 and it like 6-12 months before my egg would crack. i was starting to be drawn toward male characters in a way i had never before. and my favorite types of characters were (still are?) under-discussed secondary characters with big "i can fix him" energy. so, naturally, eridan really caught my eye.

i liked the contrast between his tactical skill and his interpersonal ineptitude. b/t being kinda badass and being truly pathetic. b/t his attitude of supremacy and his endlessly deep self-loathing. and, yes, i definitely woobified him Big Time back then.

now coming back to the fandom like 13 years later, i see something more? those contrasts still draw me, but now i think about him in terms 1. what it means to be Villain in homestuck (both in his actions and his beliefs), and 2. erisolsprite

since this became an Essay, im putting the rest below the cut

tldr: examining eridan as a villain shows that some Really interesting choices were made in his creation and show how effectively he fills his narrative role. while erisolsprite forcibly hands someone else's perspective to an endlessly self-centered character.

with regards to villainy, in 2011 we had a totally different perspective on timelines and doom and free will and shit? looking back. and its so clear that eridan Had to be what he was, both narratively and meta-narratively?

what got me thinking about it was actually kanaya's sylladex releasing the matriorb? her fetch modus only releases objects when its The Right Time. and The Right Time was for eridan to fucking destroy it. and i realized that shit would've probably been pretty fucked if they got to the condesce with the matriob (something she wants Badly) and feferi (the heiress she was meant to kill).

narratively, eridan was predestined to destroy the matriob, and had he done anything differently, it would have doomed them. and i know this is the case for literally every decision, but idk something about that perspective hits different for eridan, who acts on his worst impulses and almost never has a positive impact on anything

like, goddamn, his classpect is prince of hope, and his planet is wrath and angels. people talk about whether or not he fulfilled his mythical arc or whatever? but it seems like LOWAA was meant to push him to that place of furious tension and volatile fear. it needed to happen and his planet made it so.

(plus i think there's some really interesting post-canon au stuff to explore with eridan learning to redefine prince of hope from "i destroy with my conviction" (meaning "i kill with magic/science") to "i destroy my conviction" (meaning "i deconstruct the things i once considered my core beliefs"))

and meta-narratively, eridan is Useful and also pretty interesting? imo there needed to be some representation of what the expected hemocaste beliefs of alternia were like. specifically someone representing the intersection of hyperviolence and bigotry that forms that backbone of their culture. eridan, as a war-tactic-obsessed seadweller, does a really good job of that.

but what twists him into something more is his role as an orphaner. in homestuck, eridan is the voice of his society's most violent and genocidal beliefs, and he is uniquely placed in a position to enact them. but he doesn't.

if eridan's bigotry is thought about as a narrative necessity for the arcs of other trolls (♋, ♉, ♐, etc.), it becomes more clear that some really clever choices were made to show a complex version of that (while still not overshadowing how Terrible he is). eridan is meta-narratively given infinite opportunities to do unspeakable violence that he Does Not Take. which serves to both undermine how dangerous he is, and to call into question the depth of those beliefs.

and with all that in mind: holy shit erisolsprite. eridan joined in mind and memory with sollux, a powerfully psionic goldblood who grew up in the shadow of helmsmanship. erisolsprite is so united in their self-loathing that they find unshakable common ground (as opposed to sprite-sploding like others do). its arguably The most stable relationship we see eridan have and the most stable sprite made of 2 trolls, and thats so wonderfully fucked up.

for eridan specifically, who is almost defined by being self-centered, he suddenly has the full memory of growing as sollux, who lived his life in the shadow of his own doom and was endlessly willing to sacrifice himself for others. eridan is literally is shoved into sollux's shoes and given memories of every previous step, all while sollux is still wearing those same shoes.

and while being erisolsprite definitely Sucks Ass, i can't stop thinking about how much that would affect eridan (Positively) if he ever got out of the sprite. tbh im also curious what sollux would walk away from erisolsprite with, but thats a post for a different time. i could go on, but it would probably just turn into a fanfic about it

ok my eridan rant is over. i hope this made sense. thank you for coming. here's a little bonus lowres eridan 💚

(also i havent played pesterquest yet so idk anything about that. ive been meaning to but its dubiously canon so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

[queenofhearts-444]

Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov

"Lolita, light of my life, fire in my loins. My sin, my soul. Lo-lee-ta."

For starters... I started this book on Valentine's Day. *Ironic, right?*

ONE: Do I think this book is a love story? In the rawest and ugliest sense, yes, I do.

TWO: The entire idea is absolutely genius, whether people can admit that or not, it's the truth. I was enthralled from the first page. I have a special love for classic's to begin with, so this book will never get a negative opinion from me.

THREE: Something I'd like to note, is I understand how this has been and will be romantizised in the future. I have an excerpt for an example.

"My inncocent little visitor slowly sank to a half-sitting position upon my knee. Her adorable profile, parted lips, warm hair were three inches from my bared eyetooth; and I felt the heat of her limbs through her rough tomboy clothes. All at once I knew I could kiss her throat or the wick of her mouth with perfect impunity. I knew she would let me do so, and even close her eyes as Hollywood teaches. A double vanilla with hot fudge---hardly more unusal than that." Lolita By Vladimir Nabokov. Page 48, chapter 11.

That perfectly explains how he views her, and how it's told from his perspective leaves room for people to romanticize it all.

FOUR: You don't really see the odd obsession he has with young girls, or Nymphets as he calls them, until in chapter 13 with the following paragraph. *Context, he and Lolita are sitting on the couch together and she crawls over into his lap*

"I entered a plane of being where nothing mattered, save the infusion of joy brewed within my body. What had begun as a delicious distension of my innermost roots became a glowing tingle which now had reached that state of absolute security, confidence and reliance not found elsewhere in conscious life." EXCUSE ME? OVER A LITTLE GIRL SITTING IN YOUR LAP?!

You can say this is euphoria he is experiencing, which changes nothing. I would also like to say, that people have very clearly done the work to try to understand WHY Humbert is the way he is. My research shows it's a result of his lack of parenthood during his childhood and the loss he experianced as a kid *Staying vague for spoilers*

Connection to that, in Nightfall By Penelope Douglas, the main character is reading Lolita for english class where the teacher says,

"We've all talked about Humbert being an enreliable narrator in the book. How we are all the righteuos heros of our own story if we're the ones telling it."

As well as,

"And how often a matter of right or wrong is just a matter of perspective. To a fox, the hound is the villain. To a hound, the wolf. The wolf, a human and so on." *Page 26-27*

So let's tie that in. When reading Lolita, the attraction Humbert has to Lolita might seem romantic, if not justifiable, but it is only a matter of perspective. *The main character in Nightfall even thinks, in response,

"Oh, please. Humbert Humbert was derailed. And a criminal. Fox, hound, wolf, whatever."

So we see her perspective, which is fair and true. Not everything is as black and white as it seems though, which she learns later.*

FIVE: Part of me thinks this book effected me mentally, on more levels than it's natural disturbing nature. I started to feel like I was running out of time, or like I'm in my 'prime' *Age not disclosed* I was absolutely on the verge of writing my will.

SIX: SPOILERS! SKIP. LO'S MOM?!?! Ugh. I also have to add that her dying was WILD. And so up to chance. I'm sure after Humbert stopped crying and drinking, he was very thankful she was out of the way.

SEVEN: As I read this, I rooted for Humbert, for storyline alone. I was playing along which made it much more enjoyable. At the end of the day, H.H. was a pedophile, and poor Dolores was the subject of it. Does that mean I enjoyed the novel any less? No! I loved it. I loved the idea, the writing, and the whole story. It was told so well and Nabokov did such a good job. Thanks for reading my book review/rant. I would love to add my thoughts for the movie but I want to get this review out! I appreciate all of you who read these and I hope to make more soon, I'm currently in a reading slump.

Tootles

[feniverse-unfiltered]

Some modern Fallen Angel Vash and Nai thoughts:

The context: Vash's fall from heaven is an accident, and it’s not really a Fall so much as a temporary crash landing on Earth. But while on Earth he gets attached (to the planet, to the people, to one person in particular) and he can’t bring himself to leave. He’s not sure if he’ll ever leave. But it’s not good for him if he stays. Nai tries very hard to convince Vash to return to heaven, even turning to some rather extreme methods. But in his pursuit he also falls, but it's an actual Fall from grace.

Vash’s Fall: Falling for Vash is a very slow and gradual process. It starts with him losing some of his angelic attributes (his halo dimming, losing some of his angelic powers, feeling more human emotions and urges) but eventually devolves into full on corruption. His wings start to turn black, his teeth get sharper, his eyes more predatory. He slowly becomes more demonic looking as the days pass by, and he starts acting that way too. Some of his best traits turn into his worst, and he slowly becomes more possessive and protective of the things he holds dear. He knows that his actions are becoming more obsessive and manipulative, and erratic, and deep down he does feel extremely guilty about what he's doing. But he also believes he's just trying to do what's best to protect the things he cares about, cause he's just so so scared of losing them.

Nai’s Fall: Nai falls and, like Vash, as time goes on he starts to change and lose his angelic powers. However, instead of eventually turning more demonic he just turns more human. He starts losing all his angelic abilities and features, and he has to learn how to regulate his now mortal body (has to learn how to sleep and eat like a regular person). He has to learn how to adapt, and he hates it with every fiber of his being. It makes him feel weak and powerless, and it's just SO exhausting having to commit to keeping his flesh suit functioning. He vehemently claims it's all Vash's fault, but deep down he knows he only has himself to blame.

Further analysis (the Good Stuff) under the cut:

The irony of it all is that the two of them are turning into the things they revile, and it's like god is spitting in both their faces. It's harsh, it's cruel, it's so incredibly unfair.

Nai fell because he's too prideful and wrathful for his own good. Despite being an angel, he detests humanity, sees himself above them, finds their mannerisms and needs pitiful. He thinks humans are weak. It's only fitting for him to be forced to live as the thing he abhors. He could return to heaven eventually, redeem himself, admit to the error in his ways, but he refuses to. Spare him the pity. (Part of him feels he does deserve this though and this is the only way to repent).

Vash fell because he became too human. He learned how to love, he learned how to desire, he ends up feeling too much and letting it take over him. He caves to gluttony, envy, lust; and it just slowly poisons him from the inside out. And it’s so cruel and unfair cause he’s such a kind and gentle soul, and he was only chasing after the things he wanted out of love. And now he's becoming the thing he fears (an unlovable, dangerous, irredeemable monster)

What drives Nai absolutely insane is that Vash can return to heaven at any time. He has every opportunity to return to god's good graces; to return home, where he belongs. But he just keeps throwing it away and letting himself get further corrupted, and for what? Just so he can stick around with these silly humans a moment longer? It's disgraceful. But Vash refuses to listen. He can't bring himself to leave

Edit: CONTINUED CAUSE I THOUGHT OF MORE

Vash in turn tries to be understanding of Nai, and really he does understand and feel for his brother’s predicament. He was scared and confused when he crashed on earth too, but at least Nai has Vash to show him the ropes. He doesn’t understand why Nai can’t see the errors in his ways, and when Nai yells at him for choosing to stay on earth he reminds him that he could return too if he just tried to be a little less prideful. But he also can’t help but be a little envious that Nai, who absolutely hates humanity, gets to be human, the thing he wants to be so badly. Instead he’s being turned into a monster.

[sometimesimjustsotired]

How I'm learning to Move on from my Ex BFF

Attachment Issues 101

I've experienced multiple breakups and lost many friends over the years. But nothing could have prepared me for losing my best friend of ten years, the girl I grew up with, the person who I knew would always be there for me—until she wasn't.

I met her in eighth grade and for many years we were inseparable, I held her hand through every break-up, cheered her on through her best moments, and even spoke at her wedding as her maid of honor. However, the day of /my/ wedding, she blocked me on everything, which left me without a maid of honor, makeup artist, and hairstylist. For so long I felt like I was in the wrong for what had happened between us, regardless of the fact that she had told me, our friendship was ending because of her jealousy.

When you're the one blocked, when you're the one ignored, you immediately feel like you are the one in the wrong and THEY have all the power. For years I have struggled with this ideology, thinking that I somehow am at a disadvantage although I was the one wronged. 

I kept thinking to myself :

I would have never done this to her

I would drop anything for her, why couldn't she be there for me?

But then I watched the show Lost, and I came to a realization. For context, the show follows a character's backstory (John Locke). In this episode, he reconnects with his father during adulthood, gives his father his kidney, and then is completely blocked out of his father's life. For years, John sits outside of his father's house, just wanting to know why he was wronged. Missing their relationship. 

I became angry for John, I knew without a shadow of doubt that he was the victim, he didn't deserve what his father had put him through- and neither did I.

This episode reminded me of my own situation, for months, I became addicted to stalking her social media accounts (from alternative accounts) and wanting to see what she was doing. Until seeing that episode, I struggled with the thought of her thinking of me or even missing me- but she doesn't and that's okay. I didn't lose my power when she blocked me, I lost my power when I became obsessed with her and lost a piece of myself. Because I so badly craved that friendship, but not her as a person. 

I don't wish harm upon her, I don't wish good upon her. I wish for myself to be freed from her.

So now I force myself not to stalk her social media and every time I want to text her, I remind myself that better friendships are waiting for me and I won't be able to move forward if I keep focusing on the past. I will not give her the power again.

I constantly think to myself, that she has become someone I can't even recognize. In reality, she has always been the victim and in her mind, I'm always going to be the bad guy. You can't change everyone, the only person you can change is yourself so why waste your time on someone who couldn't give two shits about you?

I still think about her and every so often I check her social media, but I'm human and it's okay. It won't change overnight.

I know I sound a little crazy, but I'm posting this so if anyone relates they know, they're not alone.